We must never forget this day. The day everything stood still. The day we as a country seemed so small. The day when political affiliation, race, sexual orientation didn’t matter; everyone was just Americans. We mourned together as one, we were somber but united. Whether you were a fan of President Bush or not, we clung to his every word for some sort of peace. We praised and applauded the rescuers and first responders as heroes as they should be everyday.

We must never forget this day. For not only the loss of life and tragedy but also to never forget that we can, as a country, be united as Americans. We can stand together with compassion and love for one another and our country despite our differences. However, we must learn to do this without having to face such a tragedy.

“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Sir Winston Churchill

Dear Avah,

As you sleep I sit here and think about our journey thus far. While it seems like ages ago I was sending you to Pizzo Elementary at the age of 3; I must have blinked because now here we are, your first day of high school couple weeks shy of turning 14.

To you, maybe this seems just like any other first day but it isn’t. It’s special. High school in itself is special. It marks an incredible four year journey of self discovery, creating lifelong friendships and memories you will cherish for the rest of your life. My one true hope is that you get all that you can out of high school and all that it has to offer. So when you graduate in four years, you can look back and say “dang that was the time of my life”.

Be kind. Be smart. Be ambitious. Be bold. Hold your head up even through the bad days.

You are among peers who understand your struggles. They understand your journey and most importantly they will have an innocent and loving heart like you.

I am so proud of you Avah and all that you’ve overcome and continue to face. You never cease to amaze me.

Love Mommy ❤

Here’s to you and the Class of 2023

36 Weeks Met

At the stroke of midnight marked 36 weeks. When I last wrote my blog it was at the beginning of the craziness that ensued regarding my blood pressure issues. Here I am 6 weeks later, still on ‘bed rest’ but have an increased dosage of blood pressure meds, multiple doctor visits, another visit to the ER and so many other wonderful tidbits and I’m no more sure of whats going to happen with this pregnancy than I did 6 weeks ago.

I’ve heard ‘Oh we won’t let you go past 36 weeks’. ‘Oh definitely not 37 weeks’ and I’ve also heard ‘well if things stay pretty regular we can possibly push it to 38’.  I’m tired y’all. Not so much physically tired from the pregnancy just emotionally.

To have your life practically on hold for 6 weeks and then told oh maybe a bit longer is just exhausting. I can’t work like I want to. I can’t do much around the house like I want to. I literally look around at all the crap I could be or should be doing and because i’m limited I can’t…and it sucks!

I try to constantly remind myself at least AJ is good and healthy. He passes all his tests with flying colors and is looking good and strong. It could’ve been a lot worse at the start of my troubles. Luckily we’ve managed to stay clear of Pre-eclampsia which I know is a sneaky bastard and can be detrimental to both mom and/or baby. So I do know I have much to be thankful for health wise for him.

Now besides the up and down of my hypertension it is just the ‘lets wait and see’ attitude from my doctors. See, I’m not a ‘wait and see’ kind of gal. I like dates. I like to live by a calendar. I like to know my next move for things so that I can plan and prep accordingly. At this point just give me a damn end date. That’s all….Not so hard really…just a date! Pick one, I don’t really care but just to have the validation of this date is it is all I really need at this point.

I’m hoping my next appointment brings some sort of good news but who knows. BLAH

❤  A

Down for the Count

Well my super easy pregnancy hit a brick wall as soon as I hit 29 weeks. That whole week was consumed by high blood pressure readings and more blood draws than usual.

Yesterday, at 30 weeks, my blood pressure got higher than it’s ever been and I just didn’t feel good at work. So per doctors orders, yesterday evening Rich and I headed to the hospital in a torrential downpour, for the 40 min drive to St. Joseph’s Women’s.

All my bloodwork and lab work has come back good. The baby is doing well too; which is all good news but my blood pressure numbers just are not cooperating.

So today marked the beginning of the rest of my pregnancy. BED REST. Bed rest along with blood pressure meds and weekly visits to the doctor. (Enter a long sigh)

Feeling defeated is an understatement. Being told I can’t do something doesn’t sit well with me; Especially being A-type personality and some would say “control freak” (like it’s a bad thing)

*eye roll*

So I’m trying to do what I can work wise from home. Trying to stay in bed as much as I can bare. Just trying to do as very little as possible without pushing it too far.

The plan is to at least make it to 36 weeks. Which will put me at early October. So long as he’s doing good and I’m good.

So now we just wait and see.

Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

I got it with my pregnancies with Avah and Ayden. So of course, I’m getting it now with AJ. Difference is I was younger and bit nicer with those pregnancies. I’m not as young and damn sure not as nice. I understand people run out of shit to say. I mean sure the courteous thing to do would be to ask “how are you feeling?” or “How are things going with the pregnancy?” Ya know decent things to say. But no, apparently the usual pregnancy comments that MANY women face are negative and commentary on how big they are. Like as if us pregant women don’t feel crappy enough. Oh you mean this bowling ball I carry around 24/7 and try to sleep with at night? (Ya know, I didn’t even realize it existed until your comment!???)

Almost daily, I and i’m sure MANY OTHERS hear the following:

  1. “You’re huge/big/large/massive etc…”
  2. “Is it twins in there?”
  3. “We’re you this big with your other babies?”
  4. “Should you be eating that?”
  5. “You’re about to pop!”
  6. “So and so isn’t as big as you…”
  7. “You must be due soon”


Let me just reiterate some things so I don’t have to keep repeating myself in defense of my bump size and before you decide to slap a ‘WIDE LOAD’ sticker on my back:

  • I’m growing a human. Plain and simple.
  • I’m short w/ a short torso (there’s nowhere for me to grow but outward!)
  • On top of a baby, I also have a large fibroid growing in my uterus. So that doesn’t help much.
  • This is my 3rd baby (you get bigger with each subsequent pregnancy- GOOGLE it!).
  • I’m healthy, my baby is healthy and my doctor is extremely happy with my progress thus far in regards to weight gain.
  • oh and lastly…. BITE ME! 😉

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Time Goes So Fast

Last post on my blog, in January, I posted a picture with a quote about trying. Well because that was that day my husband and I talked and decided we will actively try to get pregnant. After talking we decided that we did in fact want to have one more child together. Collectively, we have a good number however, together we only have Ayden. After the miscarriage last year and healing emotionally from that we knew in our hearts that we did in fact want to try again. So January 19th we decided 2018 will be the year. If it happens great, if it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to be and we’d be okay with that too.

Well I conceived around Valentine’s day and it’s all been quite a blur since. Everything is going well with my pregnancy and as of today I am now 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. Ayden is SUPER excited to be big brother. He is constantly talking to the baby, desperately wants him to kick his hand. He’s already so attentive to me and the baby he’s going to be a great big brother.

This pregnancy at times seems to be flying by. Even though it’s rough on my body some days I try to remember to enjoy it because this is the absolute last time I’ll experience this. So I just try to remind myself of that. However, it’s been 8 years since I was pregnant with Ayden so most days my body is cursing me out for doing this again.

Hopefully, I can stay up to date with my blog but there’s no promises. Time is just going so fast it’s so hard to keep up!

❤ Adrian

mothers day

Mother’s Day 2018